It has always amazed me how one of the signature holidays in the U.S., Thanksgiving, has somehow managed to evade the level of commercialization that accompanies its more gaudy sibling, Christmas. There is some level of consumerism, of course, and those with lots of money to spend can and will find ways to lavish it on a Thanksgiving celebration. But my point is that a nominal celebration pretty much covers the holiday. There is no seemingly  endless buildup encouraging us all to buy, buy, and buy some more. It also doesn’t seem to engender the same kind of antipathy that I’ve seen among some of my associates and friends, who can’t stand Christmas because of what has been done to it.

While one can make the case that our current Thanksgiving is itself partly the product of the marketing industry, its essential character remains undiminished. Inclusiveness, gratitude, sharing a meal is the essence of the holiday. Every year the American Farm Bureau Federation estimates the average cost of a Thanksgiving dinner for ten people, including enough for leftovers. This year’s bill comes to $48.90. That comes to less per person than the cost of a Whopper combo, and probably tastes a lot better. Therein, I submit, is part of the magic behind this miracle. Compare that with the shopping bill that comes with Christmas.

Thankfulness is the polar opposite of the drive to outdo others in matters of consumption and ostentation ad absurdum. It’s good for the soul.

Our Thanksgiving celebrations have, on average, been pretty modest, or by the grace of friends. Two of the most memorable were when we gathered with a few others, strangers mostly (at least to us), in the kitchen and fellowship hall of a Unitarian Universalist Church in Rhode Island where we lived for a few years. Times were hard and money was tight, but we all brought what we could and, in the church kitchen we fashioned it into a holiday repast. Most of those there lacked family, means, or both for the usual Thanksgiving celebration. One had the feeling that it was a spontaneous gathering of misfits. But for that bright Fall afternoon, strangers broke bread together. It remains one of the most memorable, most proper celebrations of Thanksgiving I’ve experienced.  In a few hours we will head over to a family gathering, which I’ve been looking forward to for weeks now. They are a wonderful bunch and we always have a great time. But there is truly something magical in how a meal shared can create another kind of family out of a collection of strangers and gratitude.